Kerala’s Parenting Creates Anxious Kids
In the lush, vibrant landscape of Kerala, a quiet revolution has taken place in our homes. As the one of the best child psychologist in Trivandrum, I see this daily. Armed with advanced degrees, economic stability, and a deep desire to give our children everything we never had, a generation of parents rose. They aimed to craft a perfect future for the next generation.
We moved from authoritative, distant parenting styles of the past. Now we use a model that is intensely involved and meticulously planned. It focuses overwhelmingly on success. We track milestones and curate extracurricular activities. We invest huge resources into education and development. Our intentions are pure, born of love and aspiration.
Yet beneath this well-orchestrated progress, trouble brews. Unbeknownst to us, modern strategies cultivate anxious, fragile children. The love that protects and elevates creates anxiety’s root.
Insights from Trivandrum’s Best Child Psychologist: Emotional Modelling
One key way this happens is emotional modelling. Children learn feelings by watching parents. They absorb our emotional states.
In our push for success and safety, we project unmanaged anxieties. Meanwhile, we fret over exam results, filling the house with tension, while discussing college and careers with urgency and fear.
This models constant alarm about a competitive world for our children. Indeed, a child’s brain, especially the amygdala that processes fear, tunes into this. An anxious parent teaches the world is dangerous. It demands hypervigilance.
They see a bad grade as disaster. Instead, this comes not from words but silent interactions. It forms a lifelong neural blueprint for anxiety.
Achievement Pressure
This anxiety grows with focus on academic and extracurricular success. In Kerala, education is a top value. Parenting becomes project management for top ranks and careers.
Our love ties subtly to performance. Typically, we celebrate an ‘A’ more than kindness or resilience. Schedules fill with tuition and coaching. Little room remains for unstructured play.
Play builds problem-solving, creativity, and emotional control. Constant pressure creates “conditional self-worth.” Consequently, kids think: “I am only as valuable as my last win.”
Failure feels like an existential threat. The National Crime Records Bureau data shows student suicides in India. Often linked to academic pressure, it reveals the weight.
Helicopter Parenting Issues
We aim for a safe path yet create hyper-vigilance through control. We solve every problem, intervene in conflicts, smooth obstacles, call parents over playground fights, plan playdates precisely, and hover over homework. This “helicopter parenting” disempowers kids.
It says: “You can’t handle life alone.” It robs failure, frustration, and boredom. These build resilience, grit, and self-reliance.
Kids who never “skin their knees” can’t learn to recover. They face college, relationships, and careers unequipped. Anxiety and helplessness follow.
Trivandrum’s Best Child Psychologist on Digital Habits
The digital age adds complexity. While we limit kids’ screens, we fail our own habits. Work emails ping constantly. We scroll social media endlessly.
Our fractured attention teaches perpetual busyness. It erodes parent-child connection, the anchor for security. A child unseen by a calm parent grows anxious.
Social media’s perfection fuels our comparison. It heightens pressure we pass on.
Emotional Illiteracy: Trivandrum’s Best Child Psychologist Perspective
These pressures create overscheduled, over-pressured kids. They lack connection to their inner world. We teach what to think, not how to feel.
We guide achievements, not coping. Emotions like sadness or anger stay foreign. Homes speak only of accomplishment.
This illiteracy turns feelings into stomach aches or headaches. It sparks sleep issues, anxiety, and perfectionism in child counselling centres in Trivandrum.
Path Forward
We need a shift from project manager to emotional coach. Manage our anxiety first. Our emotions are the key curriculum.
Decouple love from achievement. Celebrate effort and kindness like success. Step back for manageable failures.
Trust kids’ problem-solving power. Create device-free spaces for connection. Listen without fixing.
Redefine success as joy, resilience, empathy, and meaning. As an RCI licensed psychologist in Trivandrum offering relationship counseling in Trivandrum online child counseling and counseling psychologist in Trivandrum services, Rajula Maniyeri guides families here.
The modern Malayali parent stands at a crossroads. We have resources to raise healthier kids. Use dedication to nurture their inner world.
Our task is not shielding from storms. It’s building a sturdy ship. Let go of control. Heal our anxieties. Choose connection over validation.
Quiet anxiety’s tide. Raise resilient, intelligent kids secure in unconditional love.