Men’s Mental Health in Kerala: Why So Many Men Stay Silent
International Men’s Day falls on 19 November. It’s a good moment to ask a question that Kerala rarely asks out loud: how are the men around us really doing?
Men’s mental health in Kerala is often invisible. Many men are expected to be steady, to earn, to cope and to say little. As a result, struggles stay hidden until they become impossible to ignore.
What the Data Show
These figures describe real people and real families, and they are worth reading with care.
- Kerala’s suicide rate in 2023 was 30.6 per lakh population, against a national average of 12.3, according to the NCRB. That ranked the state third in the country.
- Kerala also recorded the highest number of suicides among unemployed youth of any state in 2023, at 2,191.
- A Thanal Suicide Prevention Centre analysis of state crime records for 2014 to 2024 found that men made up 82% of cases in 2024, and that people aged 30 to 60 made up 53%. Family issues were the leading cause at 54%, mental health problems and other illnesses accounted for 18.7%, and drug abuse for 10.2%.
Other reports give slightly different percentages, such as about 80% in a South First analysis. Official data count deaths, not the much larger number of men who struggle quietly. Still, the pattern is clear: men are far more often among those who are lost.
Why Men Stay Silent
Several pressures push in the same direction:
- “Be strong.” Many boys learn early that crying or worrying is weakness.
- The provider role. A man who loses a job, or falls into debt, can feel he has lost his place in the family.
- Few places to talk. Many men have friends for company but not for honesty.
- Alcohol as a coping tool. It can numb feelings for an evening, and make everything heavier the next day.
- Waiting for a crisis. Therapy can feel like something for people who have “really” broken down.
Our post on father figures and mental health explores how some of these patterns pass from one generation to the next.
How Depression Can Look in Men
Depression in men does not always look like sadness. A Psych Central review, citing NIMH, notes that some men hide their emotions and appear angry or aggressive. The signs can include:
- Irritability and anger that seem out of proportion
- Overworking or exercising too much to avoid feelings
- More drinking or other substance use
- Physical complaints such as headaches, a tight chest, digestive problems or poor sleep
- Withdrawal from family, friends and hobbies
- Loss of interest in work, relationships or things that used to matter
Many men see a doctor for the physical symptoms and never mention the feelings behind them.
What Helps
- Talk to one person. One honest conversation is a strong start
- Check the basics. Sleep, regular meals and movement affect mood more than people expect. Our post on sleep and mental health in Kerala explains why
- Look at your drinking. If you rely on it to relax or sleep, that is worth discussing
- Get a check-up. A doctor can rule out physical causes
- Ask for help early. It does not need to be a crisis
If You Are Worried About Someone
Ask directly: “You have seemed different lately. How are you really?” Listen without joking, fixing or saying “be a man”. If someone talks about ending their life or harming themselves, stay with them and contact a doctor or emergency service right away.
In India, Tele-MANAS (14416) offers free mental health support at any hour.
When to Seek Professional Support
If low mood, anger, constant worry or heavy drinking have lasted two weeks or more, or are affecting work and family, speak to a professional. Therapy is a conversation. You decide the pace.
Rajula Maniyeri, a licensed psychologist in Trivandrum, offers depression treatment in Trivandrum and anxiety disorder treatment in Trivandrum. For work and money pressure, there is stress counselling in Trivandrum, and for men approaching or past retirement, see our post on retirement and mental health. If you would rather start privately, online therapy is available across Kerala. When you are ready, book a session.
This article is for general awareness and is not a substitute for professional clinical advice. If you or someone you know is in distress or at risk of self-harm, please contact a licensed mental health professional or an emergency service immediately.